Why I Am Done Feeling Bad About My TBR

If you’re a reader, you already know that feeling...

The sideways glance at your shelves. The half‑joke, half‑confession: “My TBR is out of control". The quiet guilt that creeps in when your 'To Be Read' pile grows faster than your ability to conquer it.

Well... I’m done with that feeling.

Not because my TBR magically shrank or because I suddenly developed superhuman reading speed. But because I finally realised something important: my unread books are not a failure. They are the readers' equivalent to a well-stocked and carefully curated wine cellar.

And I refuse to apologise for the pleasure of collecting books and having good taste.

The Myth That Every Book Must Be Read Immediately

Somewhere along the way, reading became weirdly transactional.

Buy a book → read said book → move on.

Anything else is treated like procrastination, indulgence, over-consumption or worse, waste. Social media doesn’t help. Endless reading challenges, monthly wrap‑ups, and colour-coded trackers quietly suggest that the best reader is the fastest, most efficient one.

But reading has never worked that way. Not really.

A book is not a task to complete. It’s an experience that either meets you where you are or it doesn’t.

Timing matters. Mood matters. Life matters.

And this is where the wine cellar metaphor earns its keep.

Your TBR Is Not a Pile. It’s a Cellar.

A serious wine connoisseur doesn’t buy a bottle and immediately feel pressure to pop the cork that night. They buy wines for future versions of themselves.

For celebrations not yet planned. For quiet evenings that haven’t happened. For dinners with people they haven’t met yet. Some bottles are meant to age. Some are meant to wait.

Your unread books work the same way.

That dense classic you haven’t touched? It might need a different season of your life, one with more patience, fewer distractions, or a deeper well of experience.

That non-fiction book gathering dust? It may be waiting for the moment when its ideas land.

That novel you swore you’d read by now? It’s not late, it’s resting.

A TBR isn’t an accusation. It’s evidence of optimism. You believed (correctly) that there would be a future version of you who would want and appreciate these stories.

Unread Books Are Proof of a Reading Life

Let’s be honest: an empty TBR would be… bleak.

It would mean no curiosity, no anticipation, no sense of literary possibility. The unread book is a promise, not a problem.

Umberto Eco famously wrote about the value of an unread library, how the books we haven’t read remind us of what we don’t yet know.

That’s not shameful. That’s humbling. And strangely comforting.

Your shelves don’t say, “You failed.”

They say:

• You are curious.

• You are hopeful.

• You believe in a future version of yourself.

That shouldn't be guilt-inducing. That’s human.

Why Reading Guilt Is So Persistent

Reading guilt sneaks in because we confuse ownership with obligation.

But buying a book doesn’t denote a contract.

It doesn’t mean you owe it your attention right now, or ever. Some books will wait for years. Some will never be read. And that’s okay. Wine goes corked. Books go unread. Both still have value simply by being chosen.

The guilt also comes from treating reading like productivity. Pages read. Books finished. Goals hit.

But reading isn’t a performance sport. Even if you're sharing your journey with others on social media. The point isn’t to prove how much you can read. The point is to be changed; slowly, quietly, unexpectedly by the right book at the right time.

Curating a Cellar Means Trusting Your Taste

A wine cellar isn’t random. It reflects taste, curiosity, and intention.

So does a TBR.

Even if your reading interests feel chaotic, with fantasy next to memoir next to obscure philosophy, that mix tells a story about who you are and who you’re becoming.

Some books will age out of relevance. Others will suddenly feel urgent.

It's not failure. It's discernment... evolving.

You don’t owe loyalty to the reading ambitions of a past version of you. You owe the present-you an authentic and enjoyable reading experience. Each time you choose to pick up a book.

When the Time Comes, You’ll Know

There’s a specific kind of joy and satisfaction that only comes from finally reading that long-awaited book. The “Oh...Now I get why this is mine.” moment.

It’s like opening a bottle at exactly the right occasion. The taste lands. The timing clicks. The experience feels earned.

If you had forced it earlier, it would have been fine. But now? Now it’s perfect.

That’s not accidental. That’s your patience paying off.

So I’m Done Apologising for My TBR

I won’t downplay it anymore. I won’t joke about it like it’s a character flaw. I won’t measure my reading life by how small I can make my unread pile.

My bookshelves are not clutter. They’re a carefully considered collection. A valuable cellar. A quiet vote of confidence in my future self.

Some books I’ll read next week. Some in ten years. Some never.

And all of that is fine.

Because a life well read isn’t defined by how many books you finish, it’s defined by how many worlds you keep within you reach, and who you become once you've experienced them

So raise your glasses and cheer! Here’s to the unread books. May they wait patiently. May they meet us when we’re ready. And may we finally stop feeling bad for believing in them enough to bring them home.